A Soldier's Strength
by Chibi Pluto
Summary: Miaka remembers one bitter memory and finally has the strength to open a letter that is decades old. Will she have a Soldier's Strength to continue? Will she be reunited with her Tamahome?


I felt legs crumple beneath me.

"NO!" I yelled. 

"NO!"

"NO!"

"NO!"

"NO!" My throat hurt. Soreness began to invade it. I coughed. The harsh cough made my throat red.

Sobs racked my body. It wasn't fair! Why did it have to happen? Now? We were so close…so close to seeing each again.

Any happiness that had ever been inside of me drained, I no longer could live. Not in happiness. I knew sadness. I knew it all too well. And it came back to get me. Vengeance. That's all it ever wanted. Vengeance to destroy my life.

And it did.

Again.

When I had finally let my guard down again, it crept in. Destroying what I had worked so hard for.

I stopped my tears. A thought dawned upon me.

Sadness was always looking for vengeance. If I allowed it none, maybe, just maybe, it would allow me to live my life in peace. Simply scarred. Scarred of the horrible memories.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

So many years have passed. Yet it still creeps up on me sometimes. Somehow, I always manage to find the strength to banish it.

I pick up the dusting cloth and make my way over to the glass case. Inside were the objects that I had collected that held sentimental value.

I brushed the cloth gently over the objects. However, my hand stayed with one. I picked it up and held it in front of my eyes.

A small golden phoenix rested on a small mirror. My eyes drooped sadly, the past held so many memories. Death, lost friendship, betrayal, I could go on but I won't to spare myself.

The phoenix had red eyes that peered into me. As if unraveling the truth within me to my very core. I shuddered. The past can be painful. I placed the object gently in the glass case.

I let my hand stray to another object. A picture. One that I remembered so well. 

I Tamahome…/I

I gazed at the photo. Unshed tears burned in my eyes. Too many memories. Too painful. My mind reached back into my pool of memories and found one, the most dreaded one.

*FLASHBACK*

The doorbell rang. I went to the door and opened it cheerfully.

"Hello." A smile on my face.

The man grunted at my cheerfulness and asked to come in. I opened the door wider for him.

He stepped in and spoke again.

"Ma'am, I am General Sayke and I have some," He paused. "rather unpleasant news for you."

The horror shown in my eyes as I realized what was coming.

He saw it but he knew there was no way to soften the blow he was about to give to me. 

"Ma'am, your husband…." He trailed as I became increasingly distraught. "Was killed during the mission." My face fell. I knew it. I had a premonition the other night. I felt my legs crumple beneath and I began to scream over and over again as he told me what happened.

"Tamahome, a friend of all, was on a special mission. There was a war between the galaxies. His superior sent him and others of his fleet to halt the war before it spread." The man looked away from me. He wouldn't even look at me in the eye. "Unfortunately, the opponents of the war knew of Tamahome's powers and sought out a way to destroy him."

My eyes became blank, emotionless. 

"It isn't true." I whispered.

"Tamahome was stronger than all of them." My eyes were bloodshot from the tears yet they still kept coming.

The man kneeled before me. "Tamahome had with him a note with him when we recovered him. It was addressed to you."

The man handed the note to me and spoke once more before leaving. He placed a hand on my shoulder and I looked at him. "Have a Soldier's Strength, Ma'am. I somehow feel that you, of all people, can get through this. I feel like I somehow know you, like you have fought many times before. And, if so, then you already have a Soldier's Strength, just use it during these times. You may be alone physically but spiritually you are never." The man stood up and left.

I laid on the hard wooden floor and cried. I cried for the strength of my Tamahome. I knew he had a Soldier's Strength.

*END FLASHBACK*

Next to the photo was a note. I still had yet to read it. I wouldn't- I couldn't - when I found out. Now, decades later I thought I was ready.

I took the note out of the glass enclosure and carefully unfolded its crisp linings.

IMy dearest love,

Did I ever tell you I loved you from the moment I laid eyes on you? Did I ever tell you how much you mean to me? The truth is, I can't even begin to express how much I feel for you. I'm so sorry it had to come to you like this. If you are reading this then I must of perished in my mission. I am sorry I wasn't strong enough. I am sorry that I couldn't be there for you. I know how much we mean to each other. I wish I could tell you goodbye. But I can't. Because someday I know I will see you again. Just wait, we will meet again. So, I cannot tell you goodbye but I can say 'Until We Meet Again'. I wish so much to tell you in person. I wish so much to see your emerald eyes shining- they have always been so bright with happiness. I wish I could feel your soft lips once again, but alas, it is not to be.

Miaka, my love, we have endured much together. Please know that I will eternally love you and we will survive. Just believe. Believe in our love. And have the strength to go on. Use the strength you have always had. Use the soldier's strength to continue until I lay my eyes on you once more. 

~Tamahome/I

A tear slid down my cheek. Finally, after all these years, I cried. I allowed myself the despair to grieve. I allowed myself to let it all be over.

------------

I laid down in bed, pulling the covers over my form. It had been decades since I last cried. It felt good.

I closed my eyes. Underneath closed lids I saw a strong form. One I knew all too well. I saw the light of the heavens reveal his face. Tamahome. My Tamahome had returned to me. I ran to him. I jumped into his arms. Happiness shining in my eyes. Shining in his eyes.

He smiled and whispered in my ear. "See, just like I said, we will always be together in the end. Just believe."

I snuggled into his form and sighed contently. "I did, Tamahome." His name felt so great on my lips.

"I finally did believe when I had a soldier's courage."

Yue approached Miaka's bed and saw her friend laying there. She saw a smile on her friend's lips and a note clutched in her hand. Prying open the hand, Yue read the note.

Smiling sadly she looked at her friend. 

"You finally did it. I know you did." She spoke her words softly.

"You finally had a soldier's strength to believe and went to Tamahome."

AN:

Well? Good? Bad? Please review it! I want to know everyone's opinions^_^ This is my first (of many) FY fics, so check back soon!


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